I think I pee'd my pants...

So I keep going back to making decisions and sticking to them. And it's just crazy for me to think of all the decisions we make when we are young, without a seconds worth of thought to how our future will look because of this. Like when Tristin insists he doesn't have to pee, but wets his pants 3 minutes later, and now we have wet pants. And usually I have a little boy telling me he didn't pee his pants. Really? Because your crotch is a distinctly different color than the rest of your pants, are you SURE you didn't pee? And how come kids don't understand sarcasm? So many witty remarks I waste on them a day.

That's a funny thought though, as I raise my kids with my sarcasm what am I creating? Incredibly smart - ass - children? I hope not! I don't think I use it in rude ways, just obvious. Like the peeing of your pants, I can kind of SEE that you did it, I don't really have to ask, but since I did, I am definitely going to point out that I know you are lying to me. And I still think it's a better way of addressing the very simple lie. Instead of calling him a liar and telling him he lied, I'm giving him the evidence that tells me he is lying and usually, most times, he will say, in his sweet little voice "Actually mama, I did pee, just a lil-blip" Which means "a little bit"

I wish life was as simple as determining whether someone wet their pants or not. I wish everything was that black and white. That every decision was that easy. If I wet my pants people are going to know, it's going to stink, and I'm going to have to change or be very uncomfortable until I do. So I don't. Or do I? Maybe not physically but metaphorically I think I probably pee my pants at least a couple times a week.

I know, right now you are thinking - why do I read these blogs? She pees her pants metaphorically? Really? What a WEIRDO! But think about it. I'm sure you do too. I'm sure you make decisions all the time that you KNOW are a bad idea, you know the consequences you know that if you do such and such it's not going to be good in a little while, you are going to be uncomfortable until you get a change.

I did that this weekend actually. Luckily, I was alone, I was gaming - so not really alone, but to all of you that do not understand my fantasy world of swords and death knights you would think I'm alone. But I'm not, I have night elf druid friends and lots of others too! I even hang out with a dwarf or a gnome every once in awhile. Anyway so I was playing my game, doing a raid, which is like a large dungeon with many different bosses and strategies needed to succeed, and when you finish you get some cool title like "King Slayer" which I don't have but sometimes I do get some cool gear. ANYWAY I decided to have a lil blip of wine. That little bit turned into almost 2 bottles. I actually do not remember going to bed, thank goodness I was alone and I didn't have any awkward waking with a stranger and asking them how I got to bed. It was interesting to log onto my game and see where I was - in the game. And a little embarrassing to get back in with my game friends and hear what I may have said over the Ventrilo system. (which is where I get really cool and put on my headset and talk to people in the game and listen to them too) See I'm social!
The point I'm getting at is - as I was drinking this wine, I knew that it was going to suck the next morning - and it did. And there was nothing I could do but change my pants and let the moment - hours - until I felt better- pass. So is life. Some of these decisions are not so easy, not so apparent as what your end result is going to be. These are the decisions I wish we could do without. For instance, my sarcasm and its usage while with my children. Will this make them witty and smart and loved by all, or quite the opposite? I don't know! I don't know many things, I'm just now realizing this. I guess that's the phase of life I am in.
I went through that "I Know Everything" one and now I'm at the "I don't know jack" phase - kind of like infancy but worse because if I pee my pants now, I gotta change them myself.
Oh - on a non pants peeing note, I quit smoking again. Yeah, I know, AGAIN!? This time I'm sticking to it, I've decided that if I can weed people out of my life based on the pros and cons they give me, then I really shouldn't have a hard time quitting something that gives me almost ZERO pros and a whole lot of cons. So that's kind of like JUST now realizing I've been "peeing my pants" for a year and quitting, and finally changing. I'm going to put my stubborn pants on now. I can be quite good at that. Making a decision and sticking to it because I can, more than because I should. Which this time both are good reasons to make a decision.

Ever take a look at yourself and think - I am a stubborn ass! I did. And I am. I don't think this is always a bad thing but maybe it needs a little moderating. I don't want to pee my pants forever, and as I'm not getting any younger it's getting a little more difficult to control. Lifelong stubborn habits are hard to break!

What was my point with this? Well, don't tell stupid lies. Like ones that are very evident by the dark spot on your jeans. And don't make stupid decisions that cause those stupid lies because you pissed your damn pants! Be smart, think it through, and realize, every single thing you do today will come around and effect you again, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a bad way, but it will happen.

Just, well quit peeing your pants people! Even if it's just a "lil blip"