Self vs. Public Image

It's easy to see the drama when you just lurk around the Facebook and Myspace pages, or walk the streets of a small town. I see so many people get caught up in what others are saying and doing. I've been there, so I won't judge too harshly, just now that I'm not "in it" it's easy to see where they get stuck.



I had a dream last night, and it was mostly like a soundtrack more than the whole movie. There is a song out, kind of popular at the moment, I'll post the video at the end of this blog. It's called "According to You", by Orianthi. Ok so, yeah ok song at first, lyric wise, she is comparing how someone who doesn't matter thinks of her, to the way someone she likes thinks of her. Why did this song make me mad? I mean if the first person doesn't matter, then quit wasting time and energy worrying about what they said or thought about you. And really who is this second person, and why is their opinion so important? What about YOU? According to YOU what do you think about yourself?


Yes, I'm pretty much fantastic. I'm a caring person, I have a good sense of humor, I'm a great mom, I'm a responsible adult with a realistic, yet optimistic, view of my future. I have goals and I budget well. Plus I'm pretty darn sexy.


How come we can't say that seriously? Why is it so hard to have our own self-affirmations, our own sense of pride in who we are and what we have become? I mean there is always a point of moderation, I may honestly believe those things I said about myself, but that doesn't mean I go announcing it all the time. To do so would be asking for someone to agree or disagree, and since I do believe it, it shouldn't really matter. Yes it's great to hear nice things about yourself, but you know what? If you really truly believe you are a good person, you are a funny person, or a smart person, people will notice. And when you don't have to take the time to tell everyone how wonderful you are, people, great people, don't mind telling you that they think so too.


And please don't misunderstand me, by saying I think I'm all of the above, which I do; I do not think of myself as better than anyone, there is always room for improvement. I just feel that I'm above those situations, the drama, the ugly, the angry. And as I write this, I make it sound like I never worry about other people, or never get into the drama of it all.  It's always a constant struggle, we are humans, we naturally want to hear affirmation and be loved.  I'm just making a concious effort to work on the image I have of myself, and its really helping me deal with all the others out there judging me.


I guess I just wish more people could count on themselves, get some confidence and realize if there are people in your life giving you negativity and drama, it's simply not worth it. So much energy is wasted being angry at that person, or hurt, or resentful. Think of all the wonderful things you can do, for yourself, with all that energy! Or take it and pour it into someone you really care about, and cares for you!

Just recently it has all "clicked" for me. I am who matters most, and what I can control. I can't be worried all the time of someone disliking me, and believe me that's hard. It's ingrained, my mom and I both have issues with being accepted and loved by all. It's just a very unrealistic goal and only sets you up for disappointment and failure. So I quit. If you don't like me, well I would like to apologize if I did something hurtful or try to work it out, honestly I would. But if you really dislike me, then I guess I'll deal with it and move on. It's not worth either of our time fighting about why you should like me, but you probably should anyway - that's a joke by the way -



I kind of started rambling but my moral is - Love yourself First!!!!! Once you can obtain this, you get a self confidence that is hard to compete with. It makes everything easier! When you set higher standards for yourself you end up with better friends and richer relationships, with people that are worth caring about. People that will love you like you do! (or at least close to it)