The Begining.

I have been "blogging" for awhile on Myspace. It just doesn't offer the options for my creative mind, and I find it quite boring. For instance, I don't always have an appropriate "Mood" to set to my blog! It may change many times during the entry.

I used to keep a journal of thoughts, but really I hate writing with those old fashioned tools, you know pen and paper, remember them?  So I started typing my thoughts down, I find that my mind moves much quicker than possible to record on paper, and my typing skills see to be more up to speed with my overworking, random brain. Do you ever take those typing speed tests? Just for fun? I could spend hours trying to get a perfect score, unfortunately I never do, I can type REAL fast but generally I have a lot of typos. Hence proof reading is a long and arduous process for me.

Most of my entries have usually coincided with those things I was dealing with at the moment. Some of them quite personal. My last blogging incident was personal, very personal, but not in the TMI kind of way. And I was told I'm not supposed to make personal matters public, shouldn't that be up to me? It is, after all, my personal matters that I'm exposing. I try to be respectful of those that might be involved and not name names or give out tell tale information. Anyway personal is important. Doing this I am able to SEE what I am thinking, and somehow that makes it all a little more tangible, easier to handle and absorb.



I've had a trying year. I was separated from my husband of almost 5 years, together almost 8, on May 1st 2009. That anniversary is coming up quick! The divorce was final on March 26th of this year. Since then I have had an interesting time joining the dating pools, much too soon I might add. No real relationships occurred until around the holidays last fall.

 In mid November I met someone, at a bar, please hold the eye rolling for a minute, I realize this was a bad decision. He was not from here, which was probably the biggest selling point for me at the moment. Anyway, it just didn't work, (big surprise) and for the first time I realized how my single life and dating was going to affect my kids. I let this person move into my home, my life, way too soon, and after we split up in March I'm still dealing with the kids and their attachments.




The second relationship, almost a month after the first, was an almost relationship. I'm really proud of myself and how I handled this one. He was a great guy, really nice, good stable job, and a car even! But "IT" just wasn't there. Unfortunately, I think it was there for him, but I stayed logical, which apparently can be confused for "cold hearted" and the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was not right for me, or him, who was just getting out of a very long relationship. I was able to see this early, and end it before too much affection and time was passed and the hurt would be much greater.


I'm single again, and so happy to be that way. I have great friends and a super supportive family. I'm getting along with the kid's dad better than ever, without worrying about other emotions anymore! And I'm very comfortable with who I am and where I am, mentally and by physical location.

Right now I'm looking forward to making my friendships stronger and raising my kids the best way I can. I love my job, it may just be coffee but I love it! I have a wonderful boss and I really couldn't ask for more, at this moment.

I don't know what the future holds, I have some ideas but taking them one step at a time, keeping my eyes open for the obvious, and not so obvious signs. Keeping options open but trying to use my logical brain to decipher what is best for me and mine.

Thanks for reading and keep checking, more random thoughts will be coming to this page, and most of them not nearly this deep!