Disrespect.

Why do we, as humans, lie? I know we don't ALL do it, or do it ALL the time. But why? Even the white lies, to our friends, family, KIDS. I've done it, made up a different excuse to not do something with someone, when I could have told them the truth but I wanted to spare their feelings. Who do I think I am? Making that decision for them? Maybe they wouldn't have even cared, maybe they would have and made a decision, based on mine, whether they wanted me in their lives anymore. It's not my place to adjust their view to control their thinking. That's what we are doing when we lie. We don't think that the other person is smart enough, or capable of making a decision on how they feel about us. Or we are too afraid that we might lose that friend because of our decisions. Which, if we really fear that, maybe we should rethink the reason we are lying, not the lie.



Disrespect, that's the only thing we do with a lie. Create it and give it away. Even white lies. Either we are ashamed of who we are, or afraid that the person we are lying to won't like the real person behind the one we have portrayed.


I feel pretty lucky that right now, in my life, I have people that I can honestly say know me, the real me. I don't talk to any one right now that I feel the need to lie to. I like that feeling. And, as far as I know, my friends and family aren't lying to me. Well most of them! I guess that's why the news I got this weekend hurt so much. I was lied to, big time. And the lying, more than anything, pissed me off.


The feeling of disrespect was so strong all I could do was be angry, and cry. Which pissed me off too, because for some reason I hate to cry. Especially to cry about someone that doesn't think enough of me to tell me the truth, when asked blatantly. Wasting tears, and energy. I hate that!


So I guess mainly this is about respecting those you really care about. And even those you don't. We are humans, we have to live together in this great big messed up world. And without respect what would we be? Really. Every relationship we have with someone it comes down to respect. It's hard to love someone who doesn't respect us, or vice versa. I mean this goes as deep as parent-child relationships. Yes, as a small child we have unconditional love for our parents, but as we get older, without the giving and receiving of respect it's very hard to keep that deep bond. Children who don't receive respect are the ones that don't give it, we forget how very much we teach our kids. How much the way we treat them will affect all of their future relationships.


And just as much as disrespect makes it hard to have relationships; it's amazing how much you can care for someone you have mutual respect for. Granted, there are people that I don't really get along with, but share great respect for. And there are a few people in my life that I have absolutely no respect for, but still feel for. Although most of that feeling is pity, not one anyone really wants to be on the receiving end of.


So, friends, what I am wanting to get at is making respect a focus of your day. Respecting that person in the car in front of you. Or that customer that is being a tad bit rude. Respecting your kids by telling them WHY they can't do something, in terms appropriate for them, obviously. Respect your friends, and tell them the real reason you can't come over, or don't want to. And really, I think you will find yourself thinking about your alternative actions a little bit more. I mean if you are continually making excuses to not hang out with a friend, are you really friends anyway?


Just some thoughts. Lies hurt, deception is never a good thing. Respect yourself integrity but respecting those you interact with, and love.