St. Valentine, Who was he and why do we celebrate him?

This is the article featured in February's edition of the Ferry County View... enjoy!

It seems as though that time of year has come around, the season of minor holidays. Certain days in the year most currently focused to get people to spend money. We kick off this season with St. Valentine's Day. So who is this Valentine character and why does he have a whole day dedicated to him? The history of this romantic holiday is shrouded in legends and mystery, containing both ancient Roman and Christian traditions.

One of the many legends says that Valentine was a priest that secretly married soldiers to their sweethearts in third century Rome. During this time Emperor Claudius II had outlawed marriage for young men, under the ideal that single men made better soldiers than those with families. Of course, when Valentine was discovered committing these horrible acts, he was put to death. This marks at least one of the three martyred Catholic saints name Valentine, or Valentinus.

Another legend suggests that Valentine sent the first "valentine" to a young girl, possibly his jailor's daughter, while imprisoned. Apparently this girl would visit him during his confinement, and before his death it is rumored that he wrote her a letter, signing it "From your Valentine."
There are other stories that suggest that Valentine, or at least one of them, was killed for trying to help Christians escape the Roman prisons where they were being tortured and beaten. However, that story is not nearly as romantic as the holiday suggests it should be, and is looked upon very lightly in most history. Whatever his story, given his image of a sympathetic, and most certainly romantic, hero, it is not hard to see how he became one of the most popular saints in England and France during the Middle Ages.

As with most holidays, the true origins are very clouded, and most often combined with other traditions, so it soon becomes impossible to decipher when and why we actually celebrate these days the way we do.
For instance, the very date of St. Valentine's Day, February 14th. Some believe that this date is celebrated as the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial, most likely occurring around 270 A.D. Where there are others that suggest that the Christian church chose to celebrate in the middle of February in an effort to "Christianize" the pagan celebrations of the Lupercalia festival.

For ancient Romans, February was the official start to spring, and was a time for purification. Like today's "spring cleaning", houses were ritually swept clean and sprinkled with salt and spelt, a type of wheat. February 15th, the "ides of February," began Lupercalia, a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, and to the founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus. The festivities began when members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would assemble at the sacred cave where it was believed that Romulus and Remus were raised by a lupa, or she-wolf. There they would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.

Young men would then cut the goat's hide into strips, dip them in the sacrificial blood and go back to town. On their way and throughout the town they would gently slap the fields of crops and the women with these bloodied goat hide strips. To be slapped with a bloody goat hide was not feared, but welcomed by the Roman women. For being touched with the sacred strips was suggested to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day the city's bachelor's would draw names from a larger urn in the city center. The names were of all the young women, and these two would be paired for the year. Often times these pairings ended in marriage.
In, or around, 498 A.D. Pope Gelasius declared February 14th St. Valentine's Day and the Roman "lottery" for romantic pairing was deemed "un-Christian" and outlawed.

More currently, sometime in the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed throughout England and France that February 14th marked the beginning of the mating season for birds. Obviously, this added to the idea that mid February, or St. Valentine's Day, should be a day for romance.
In doing my research for this article I was surprised to not find any symbolizing of candy and flowers. However, the jail letters indicate the tradition of exchanging cards to mark the occasion. Which recent studies show that there are about 141 million Valentine's Day cards exchanged every year.

So I suggest being original, or getting back to the roots of the holiday. Why waste money on flowers, candy and jewelry? Confess your love with a goat hide (you might want to see how she feels about that first) or just send a card. I believe the rest of the modern traditions, fancy decorations, dinners and all the other gifts, are obviously a newer custom instilled by the retail markets to give us another reason to expect and to purchase gifts. But that's a different topic entirely!

I wish all of you a Happy Valentine's Day!

Sleepless in Awesomeville.

Awesome. It is definitely one of my most used words these days. That's ok because I have friends that like that word. Well one in particular uses that word a lot. He can't really help it. Being the self appointed Minister of Team Awesome and all. But that's not really what I wanted to write about today. Not directly anyway.

Awesome. I think I'm doing pretty awesome at the moment. Yes I joined the dating sites and I think it was a good test for me. I'm not opposed, but I'm not really chomping at the bit to go get all serious and involved and stuff.

I'm really quite content where I am at. I know, I know, "content" means it could be AWESOME, if I let it. And it really is. I still have sleepless nights though. Which suck. Bad.


I went out for the 2nd time since October. I was home at a decent time, but still couldn't freaking sleep! My brain, even slightly fogged by beer, would not stop running! It was one of those rare times when my content self says - what if it was AWESOME!?

Silly really, and they were not bad thoughts, I was not having a personal pity party with my pillows all night. I just was thinking. Day dreaming, but it was at night...but since I was awake I think it still qualifies as day dreaming? I don't really know but you do understand where I am going right?
Anyway, I have some really great people in my life right now. I have some wonderful, supportive friends. Friends that don't let me be too hard on myself, that call me on it when I do. You know who you are. And going out again made me realize that these are the people I need to focus on. They actually care about me. Yeah, so a drunk chick told me I was beautiful, thanks and stuff but really?

By the way - being a girl, if a girl tells you that you are beautiful and gorgeous (obviously she was drunk, I was SO styling in my gray khaki like pants, t shirt and hoodie) But anyway - are you supposed to compliment back? I just got to the point I could TAKE a compliment without telling people they are stupid and to shut up. Seriously, it's taken a lot for me to say "Thank you" and not "Thank you but..."

So what I was talking about. I like to drink, yes. I like to dance and I like to sing. I do not have to go to the bar to do this, but it is OK if I chose to do so. I can hang out with my friends and be completely sober and still have a blast. I'm just glad I'm seeing my options more clearly.

I wish I wasn't so isolated in my area though, I miss some friends. I have a couple of long distance friends that I really, REALLY enjoy talking/texting to and I just wish I could hang out more.


I guess that's where my fantasy things were going last night. "It would have been so much fun if so-and-so was here!" I really spent a good 2 hours thinking about how awesome it was that I had such great friends in my life. Which, if I have to be sleepless I'd rather it be over how lucky I am, than, I don't crying about being home alone on a Saturday with no love of my own. And I was not doing that - for the most part. Haha. OK come on, you know that thought had to pass at some point, but I was pretty comfy cuddling my pillows and thinking happy thoughts about people I care about.

Our Year 2010

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What Is Love?

Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...

If you don't know that line, then we probably can't be friends anymore. I finally got around to writing an article of the Ferry County View, well this would be my second article. The first one being an informational interview of a local celebrity - ha ha hardly. But he would probably like to think so!
Anyway I was asked to write a "Valentine" article, to make the paper more lovey-dovey holiday like. Yeah, if I went with my honest opinion of the holiday right now it would probably induce feelings of depression and hopelessness. Not that I actually feel that way, I'm not as jaded as you might think. But seriously - you want a single mom to write a lovey-dovey article about the most "romantic" day of the year? Good luck with that.

So I did the next best thing I do...second to giving my opinion whether requested or not, I gave facts, historical facts. I'm good at that! I love history, I really do. And I love the folklore and legends behind our current, modern holidays.

Modern, that's funny. Being that most of these "Christian" holidays have absolutely no foundations in Christianity, actually more likely adopted to the Pagan festivals to make it easier for Pagans to accept the Christian beliefs. This is a totally different subject, and one that I really don't feel like getting into right now.

Anyway, Valentine's day. A day where you go buy chocolates, flowers,jewelry or at least a nice card for someone you care about. AWESOME. I have lots of people I care about, so should I send each of my friends a valentine? Not really the custom as adults, however it is the custom in grade school.

Do I have a 'valentine' this year? If by Valentine you mean an imprisoned priest in love with me, sending me love notes through my father, no. And if you mean in more conventional, easier to understand terms, it's still no. Not really, I mean I have friends that I will probably send a card to, because, I do care about them.

Does that mean romantically? No. Friends are friends and each and every one of them should be cherished.

But I love the songs that come to mind when I think of Valentine's day. For instance my opening line, probably most recognized from Night at The Roxbury, one of my favorite movies.

I'm still doing pretty good on my goals, as far as dating. I had that one little mishap and that date to Wal-Mart, believe it or not that didn't go much further. Other than that I have not been in a relationship, well since September. Go me!

I did join a dating website.... yeah I know what you are thinking. Anyway, it was a holiday loneliness thing that overcame me and I did it ok? I might have even joined a couple. So what?! Don't judge me! Most of the people have not been even friendship material, or they just creep me out so bad I can't even respond. Something like that, but I have met a couple people that I have been corresponding with. And let me clarify, even in all my profile information it says "friendship" I can have friends. It's ok. It's healthy. And apparently online dating is still more widely accepted than World of Warcraft. Which I do not understand. I mean, you really get to know things about people while fighting side by side against the scourge. Geek? Yes, however, at this point you really shouldn't be surprised.

So LOVE, that's what this is about. Did you know that in the Pagan festivals of ancient Rome it was custom for boys to cut up the hide of the sacrificial goat and soak the strips of hide in blood then hit the women of Rome with those strips? Could you imagine?

Eww... however it symbolized fertility and women actually wanted to be hit with bloody goat hide. Oh and I also found it interesting that there was a romantic Lottery, where the eligible maidens would put their names in a giant urn (the symbolism there I will not even get into) and then the bachelors of the city would draw names and they would be paired for the following year. What I found even more interesting was that these pairings were stated to "often" end in marriage. 1. To use the word 'end' as they get married, and 2. Was this courtship? Was this just carnal lust for a year and then... "by the way dear, I'm going to go ahead and put my name back in the urn this year." Either way I found the images of that amusing. Of course the Pope deemed this un-Christian and outlawed the practice.

Just so we are clear... I do not hate St. Valentine's Day and I do not hate those of you madly and deeply in love and want to celebrate this. But I do challenge you to not over use this holiday and forget about all the other 364 days in the year. The people you love should be told daily, and reminded of how much you appreciate them! This goes for friends too! I'm horribly bad at this, I'm a very lazy friend, but I am working on it!

So go ahead and eat your chocolate (which is also a horrible tradition, when most people vow to eat healthier for New Years) Buy those flowers, make someone smile. Give a Valentine - or maybe a goat hide? Just do it more frequently than one day a year!




I Wish you all a happy Valentine's Day, oh...and yeah, I love you too.

Repost this if you believe...

These are probably the biggest pet peeve of mine. I’m not saying I care if you post them but it makes me feel bad that I don’t.  I mean logically. I believe what I believe, I am not ashamed to tell people what I believe, but at the same time. It’s no one else’s damn business what I believe!

Did I use ‘believe’ enough in that opening paragraph? I’m sure I could have put it in there a few more times if I tried.

Ok you all know what I’m talking about “I believe in God -80% of you will not repost this because you are ashamed or afraid someone will laugh at you, but you will worship celebrities and post mean things, and you’ll sleep through church but stay up for movies/games yada yada yada”  

First of all, I’m 30 years old.  If someone laughs at me or makes fun of me for a post that I put up, well then, I hope it was actually funny. But really, so what?  It’s not about being accepted by everyone on Facebook, at least not for me.  You all have your own beliefs, and most of you are adults and “mature” enough not to just flame someone because you don’t agree. So if I WANT to put something as my status I will, regardless of who might make fun of me.

Second of all, who am I really accountable towards?  Certainly my faith is not in the hands of the person who spammed the message in the first place, and that’s all we are really doing by reposting it.  Proving to everyone else on facebook – “Hey look guys, I did it, I believe, see I told you!”  Not really my thing. 

Thirdly, if God did read facebook status’, I don’t think he’s out there going uh-oh Rochelle didn’t post that spam email about how much she believes in me, and then proceeds to put a bad mark in my file.  I think he is much more concerned about the mean and hateful things he sees, or the nice and caring ones.  Not the ones that say look at me I believe. Those are just words, words written by someone else. They are not from your heart.  That’s the same as being a Sunday Christian, so what?  You posted it, are you living it?  Then who cares?! 

I personally think that good people are good people, regardless of religious beliefs and the other.   Bad people are bad people, they can even come in brightly colored packages that advertise Christian, I happen to know at least one of these types of deceiving “Christians”  and if I had to stand beside her and say what I believed I would have a really, really hard time saying we had the same beliefs. 

The point?  If you want to be a Christian awesome, if you really want to post those things, great.  But I don’t think of you as a great Christian because you do, and I will most likely not repost it. Mainly because I think the idea is ridiculous.

Crushes

Do you remember in grade school and you got your first crush on someone? Back then, they were just cute - because you probably didn't talk to them much. So it was how cute that person was.


When High School came around you might have added a little depth to that, he's cute and he's funny. But mostly it was still how hot they were. (Makes sense really, if you've ever read on the science of sex and attraction)

Even in my early 20's what I was looking for was someone I was obviously attracted too, and had some decent values - I didn't think much about how their passions in life would affect my life. Actually during that time, if I thought that was the person I wanted, I was willing to adapt my likes and dislikes to theirs, you know, to appear more attractive to them. Which is never smart. You are not only lying to that other person, but too yourself, and when the truth comes out - you just look and feel silly.

So now, that I've aged and matured...ha ha... I've realized that I still get crushes, but they aren't really based the same. I guess they are a little deeper. And obviously, physical attraction plays a huge part in it, and there is still a lot of the "he's nice" "he's funny" which I still kind of consider immature. Not fully, but to grow attached to someone just because they are nice to you isn't exactly healthy either.

But that's not even my issue. Let's say that there is a couple because I don't want to single anyone out. And actually that might be more truthful anyway. Actually let's pretend that I'm not talking about a present situation at all, and it's all hypothetical, yeah let's go with that...

I have friends, some of them are male. I don't even know how to write this without it sounding high school or making many of my male friends think that I'm fantasizing about them. Which this isn't even about. Basically, since leaving a marriage, and being a mom, my standards/attractions/needs have changed.

And for the record, my fantasies aren't really sexual at all, they are more like "My life would be perfect if..." And that's what I'm really trying to get at. IF. IF I did something about it for one thing, IF the circumstances were different. IF, IF, IF... Which is not a good place to be.

It's just like getting lost in my game, IF that was real it would be awesome - well except for that part where I die a lot, and well I guess if the full game was real and someone could heal or resurrect me I guess that would be ok, but it would hurt a lot. I guess that's kind of like life. If I let go and trusted myself to move on whatever I think I want to move on, it might be great, like I imagine but there are more opportunities for me to get hurt that way...

I feel like I'm in a downer mode lately, and I don't really mean to come across that way. It's just me working out my issues through typing. And believe me usually after I deal with it this way I'm able to move forward. Honestly, so if you think I'm bringing myself down, it's really quite the opposite.

Lately I have had a fantasy - hypothetically of course - or two - in my head, but because I know it's not real, yet wish that one of them were, so instead I sit here and pout that it's not real. Is that healthy? I think not. And what good is that doing me? Worrying about how something that will probably never happen could happen and fix my life forever. Stupid, and unrealistic. Because I'm old enough to know that nothing turns out "perfect." So even if one of my random fantasies happened to come true, it wouldn't turn out quite the way I imagined it of course.

So basically, I'm going to stop dwelling on situations that are not real, that are dreams, which are fine to have dreams. But to put too much stock in them is just not a good idea. Plain and simple.

That's not right, to have dreams and desires is good, and to have faith that your dreams will come true is not anything I discourage anyone from doing. But more on point is that dreaming, about a dream, and pouting that it's not coming true magically - without making any effort to make it come true - isn't healthy, and isn't going to get you anywhere.



So have your dreams, but do something to obtain them - don't sit and dwell and wonder why it's not.

*** This was actually very hard for me to publish, and it may not seem so, but much more personal and closer to my heart than many of the other posts.***

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